Pausing Life to Settle Our Heart

Growing up in a religious home, my perspective on prayer was that it was a time to say “certain words” and phrases over and over again to bless and thank God for the food, ask Him to fix things, and bring others to Jesus.  That was my mindset when it was “time to pray.”  Prayer for me was something you were “supposed to do" as a good Christian. Even when I went to seminary, it seemed like we had to “out-do” each other with wordy prayers.

As I grew into my 40’s and 50’s, this same mindset would always enter my thoughts and it felt like I was just checking the boxes in order to be a “good Christian.”

It wasn’t until my daughter went on the World Race and came back with a deeper and more intimate faith through the power of the Holy Spirit that I began to see prayer at a whole other level.  Then she met her husband on the mission field. Then my youngest son and his fiancé followed suit and soon these 4 daring disciples were showing my wife and I how to listen to the voice of God through listening prayer, praying in the Spirit, and a host of other disciplines driven by Holy Spirit.

I don’t mind one bit about learning from people younger than myself.  I don’t have this life all figured out and I’m always open to new things the Spirit wants to teach me.  So, for the next 4 years He taught me a ton, not only through my kids, but also through John Eldridge and his Pause app.  

If you don’t have this downloaded on your phone, you need to get it.  Here’s why.

Prayer of Benevolent Detachment

On any given day we experience some sort of stressful situation, or anxiety about something, which then drives our fears.  The narrative that we build up in our heads feels so overwhelming that it will crush us. Over time, left unchecked, we can even slip into depression.  Isolation is a killer.  We were created for connection.  One of the best quotes that I have heard is this:

“You can believe anything you want in isolation and believe it to be true.” 

Can you relate?

The pandemic drove all of us into isolation and fear, all tactics of Satan.  Our world has deteriorated into its current state mostly due to isolation and fear.  How does a follower of Jesus settle their heart when social media and the nightly news is telling us about the woke world we live in and the unrest in this country?

By settling our heart every day.

We do that through the Prayer of Benevolent Detachment.  What is that?  Essentially it’s taking everyone and everything in our anxious hearts and surrendering it to Jesus.  When we do that - we put the burden on Jesus for whatever is causing our heart to be anxious.  In doing this we start to create space for our heart to be settled.  The Pause app is great at helping you do just that.  There is a 1 minute, 3 minute, 5 minute and 10 minute pause on the app to settle your anxious heart.  I use it when I have a tough conversation, or my thoughts send me into a tizzy, or someone unloads on me for no reason.  

Hitting “pause” at any point in our day and going to the Pause app to settle our heart brings peace and assurance. 

The narrative in our head is always off and we need connection with others to be validated (“I get it.  I have felt that way before.”).  Only after affirm others for feeling that way,  can we then speak Truth into their life about who they are and what we know to be true from God’s Word.  More often than naught, the thoughts in our head are way off and our emotions then get us out of control. Without pausing to ask the question . . .

“What is really going on?” . . .

. . . we end up reacting to each other and join the frenzy of this crazy world.

Prayer of Descent

The other “prayer skill” I am learning is the Prayer of Descent.  I’m a noobie at this one and that’s okay.  It takes time for our hearts to learn this one.  This is also on the Pause app under John’s “30-Days to Resilient” at the top of the screen when you open the app.

Think about this . .  .

When you pray, do you pray to Jesus in heaven?  Do you picture him next to you when you’re praying?  Or do you pray to Jesus who is living inside you?  If you’re a follower of Jesus Christ, the Spirit of God lives inside you (1 John 4:4).  If that’s so, then why do we think we need to talk to him in heaven or next to us?  He resides in our hearts.  It’s just a matter of stopping all the noise and distractions in our hearts to hear his voice.

In his newest book, “Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times,’ John Eldredge walks us through this prayer in chapter 8 by first talking about the pathway there. The distractions of the world that consume our thoughts - emails, noises, tasks yet to be done, dogs barking, etc. are called “The Shallows.”  The next level down in our hearts are the things that are causing the most anxiety in life - things like our career path, things with the kids, buying a home, etc.  He calls these “The Midlands.”  Then when we are still enough (using the 30-Day Resilient part of the Pause app) we are able to get to “The Depths” and it’s at that point that our soul is one with Jesus and we can feel his presence and hear His voice.  There’s nothing like it.  Suddenly the things going on in this world mean nothing because my heart is one with Jesus.

The Takeaway

We are living in turbulent times.  Our hearts yearn for Eden.  We are always hoping for a better life, a better country, a better . . . you name it.  Truth is: Jesus warned us this life is not our home.  So how do we make sense of this world and live in it, while not being sucked into it?  

It’s a daily, intentional decision to surrender what’s going on in front of us to the Father and let Him deal with it.  I can’t do anything about it anyway and trying to control people and things just makes it worse.  The Prayer of Benevolent Detachment works.  I’ve been doing it for awhile and it settles my heart at the beginning of they and refocuses my perspective on the day ahead.

Second, teach your heart the skill of The Prayer of Descent.  (Chapter 8).  We don’t need to master everything the first, second, third (or more) time we do it.  It’s not about performance or competence.  Be kind to your heart and take it slow.  God is in no hurry.  The freedom you will find and wholeness you will feel is beyond words to describe. 

Be intentional.  You made it this far to the end of my blog.  Now try it.  Download the Pause app here.  You won’t be disappointed and your heart will yearn for it every day.

Make sure you get a copy of “Resilient” as well. 

Let’s get through these turbulent times together! Schedule a 1-hour session with me and let’s walk together on this journey to wholeness and freedom and not get sucked into elections and all that other stuff that distracts us from being ready for the Master to return.  Amen?!