Every Man’s Identity Crisis
When men meet each other for the first time, what’s the first question we ask?
“What do you DO?”
What happens when we strip away...
Our role in the marketplace?
Our role as fathers?
Our role as husbands?
Our role as sons?
Our identities often come from these titles. Typically, when we ask men, "WHO are you?," they reply, "I don't know.”
Our culture is built on what we do. We need a job to exchange our time for money to provide for our families. We grow up with dreams of becoming doctors, business owners, professional athletes and more. Nothing wrong with that. I did the same.
But when you spend 10, 20, 30, 40 years working this grind and finding little joy and fulfillment, you’re left wondering, “Is this all that life is supposed to be?” Have you read Ecclesiastes?
You may be reading this and thinking . . .
“Steve, you’re nuts man. I LOVE my job and my life.”
I’m sure you do. I’m not saying we are all walking around mopey and hating life every second of every day. What I AM saying is this: We men are great stuffers and have no clue what’s going on in our inner man. We are reacting to lies every day that we have believed about ourselves since we were 12 and we are clueless how they are impacting us and our closest relationships.
Sure, you can go a LONG time and ignore what’s beneath the surface. It’s just a matter of time. For me it was 54 years. I grew up believing I could only get my worth from being an outstanding student and athlete. The harder I performed and achieved, the more respect, adulation, and favor I received.
Life for Steve Cummings wasn’t going fast enough as far as I was concerned. The quicker I got married, had a family, bought a house and got that “VP title after my name, I thought I’d be set. That’s the American way, right?
Then it all came crashing down on me. At first I couldn’t figure out why. I was stripped of everything that I had worked hard for and found my worth in. What I found out was this:
It took me 54 years to wipe the face of my father off the face of God.
I realized having a seminary degree stuck between my ears did nothing for my heart. What I discovered was that my Father delights in me each and every day no matter what I DO! My earthly dad didn’t know how to father me like Abba does. But it wasn’t his fault. His dad didn’t know either, and his dad, and his dad, and so on.
I spent time in intensive therapy, reading various Christian authors, and hearing God whisper to me. He will do the same with you!
Today I walk with men who are authentic, honest and vulnerable about the things they eat, watch, and do - and there’s no judgment or condemnation. I am loved for WHO I am.
I wish that every man could live out of his true identity as a Beloved Son of the King with nothing to fear, nothing to hide and nothing to prove.
If what I have said resonates with your heart, we need to talk. Email me at talk@bringingkingdom.org.
I am here to sojourn with you.
Shalom.
