Feeling Stuck in Your Spiritual Journey?
“Emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.”
― Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life In Christ
There was a time not too long ago I would have highly disagreed with Pete and his comment on spiritual maturity. Looking back on my spiritual journey, I was stuck and I didn’t know it. It was all about my underdeveloped emotional health as a disciple of Jesus. There was no one in my life as a man who talked about this aspect of being a Christ-follower. I had to discover it on my own.
Maybe your story is similar to mine.
I grew up going to church every Sunday. The Bible and what God said, was THE most important thing and it was up to me to obey it all, read it, pray, attend church and youth group and become a “better disciple.” From high school through young adulthood, and into my marriage and raising my family, I worked hard at “doing” these things and making sure these boxes were checked. I was a great human-doing. I had that part down pat.
Can you relate?
For the past 7 years, God has taken me on a journey to understand my heart and discover how this untapped emotional side of me that I was ignoring, denying, and discounting was actually hindering my spiritual growth. Most churches don’t teach about the emotional component of discipleship. All they want to drill into your head is:
Read the Bible
Study the Bible
Memorize the Bible
Obey
Submit
Believe
These are all true about becoming a disciple of Jesus. You will not get an argument out of me. But this only covers the mind; the intellectual side of us as humans. We are way more than just having a mind. As humans we have a heart, a mind, a soul, and a spirit. Why have we not addressed the other parts of who God created us to be - which is in HIS image? The Church and seminaries across the country have missed the boat, quite frankly, and have failed to include the emotional side of discipleship.
“Our churches are filled with “leaking” Christians who have not treated
their emotions as a discipleship issue.”
― Peter Scazzero
When I reached my mid-fifties, my “leaking” reached epidemic proportions. I was out of touch with who I was and worked harder and harder at getting those boxes checked. Pete says,
“We numb our pain through denial, blaming,
rationalizations, addictions, and avoidance.”
He’s spot on. I’m not trying to sell books for him. I get nothing from it. But truth is Truth.
I stuffed my pain and I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I denied what I was feeling inside and hunkered down to “try harder” and “do better.” Whenever I was confronted, I would blame someone or something else. Why? I couldn’t handle the shame. I would rationalize the situation away, or sometimes just avoid it. Then there was the addiction piece to numb my pain. My “best” wasn’t working. I was stuck and needed help.
Maybe you’re saying, “Okay Steve, I get it. I feel stuck in my walk. But what can I do as my next steps?”
I’m glad you asked. That tells me your heart is ready for some transformational change.
Pete has an Emotionally Healthy Disciple Assessment you can take right now to evaluate where you are emotionally. There are 7 categories and it only takes about 10-15min to complete. Answer as honestly as you can. It does us no good to “fudge” our answers in order to avoid shame. Trust the Father that He is at work in you and ask Him about each question. Depending on your score in each category, you will discover if you are an emotional adult, emotional adolescent, emotional child, or an emotional infant in each category. Remember this: We are ALL works in progress!
I will say this. I wish this content was taught in churches and seminaries. It would have saved me so much pain and suffering. But then again, that’s how the Father gets our attention and does His best work. I have to trust His process. One thing I have learned through this 7-year process?
Discipleship is multi-faceted. It’s not just about knowing the Bible and going to church.
If you have been watching The Chosen, you have seen how Jesus was all about being with his disciples. Yes, Jesus quoted the Scriptures (knowledge/mind) but the real learning was when they could be with him in relationship and learn to love others and be disciples. Disciples are born or “made,” not by beating someone over the head with knowledge and getting into theological arguments. Disciples come into being by being around others who know how to love well, with no agenda, and letting the Holy Spirit do His job.
